Growing Pains

Sometimes people will say things that upset you. It’s OK to cry and feel your feelings…in fact, I recommend it.  If you want to turn that upset into something that empowers you, here are some tools for you:

1) What they said means nothing about you. It’s a reflection of how that person feels about him/herself or could be related to a past experience. Regardless, it’s not about you.

2) Your pain isn’t because of them. It’s because of what YOU are saying to yourself about what they said.  For example, if someone says “You’re worthless,”  while that is indeed a mean thing to say, what’s hurtful is your agreement with it.  When you think to yourself “He’s right.  I am worthless,” and you go down a spiral of revisiting every time you felt you weren’t good enough, THAT’S where the pain comes from.  “You’re worthless” is just a statement.  It’s the validity you assign to that statement that gets you.  So what are you saying to yourself?  What negative beliefs are you clinging to?  What are you asserting is “true” about you?       

Use those questions as a launching pad for self exploration and you’ll leave each challenge stronger than you met it.

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